A Deal Breaker
This evening, my four year old lay on her back and ate Goldfish crackers while she watched me fix a salad in the kitchen. Our conversation went like this:
Anna: Mom, your kids are getting too old. You need to sell one.
Mom: Hmmm... which one would you suggest I sell?
A: Me! You can sell me!
M: Who should I sell you to? Do you know someone who will buy you? (Is she brokering deals on the side of preschool?)
A: You can sell me to Aunt Sarah.
M: Do you really think she would buy you?
A: Yes, she loves me.
M: What would you do at Aunt Sarah's house if she bought you?
A: Sleep, watch TV, play, eat breakfast, play computer games...
M: What would you call Aunt Sarah if she was going to be your new mom?
A: I would call her "Aunt Mommy."
M: "Aunt Mommy"? Then what would you call Uncle Brian?
A: (Deliberating briefly.) I would call him "Aunt Daddy."
M: Then what would you call me, since I used to be your mommy?
M: "Grandma?!" (Hey now. Watch it there, kid.)
What will you call The Man Formerly Known As Daddy, then?
A: "Grandpa." (Oh, of course.)
M: Well, if I sell you to them, you need to leave something behind for me to remember you by because I'm going to miss you a lot. I want you to leave your Cow Softie here.
A: Uh... no. You can't take my Cow Softie. It's mine.
M: Nope, if I'm going to sell my darling little daughter I ought to be able to chose one of her belongings as a momento, and I choose Cow Softie.
A: No, Mommy. You can't have Cow Softie. I need to take him with me, he's my favorite!
M: No Cow Softie, no deal. You'll have to stay here with me, I guess.
A: What are we going to have for dinner?
Aunt Sarah and Uncle Brian, looks like this is the one that got away.