15 October 2006

Sunday Musings III: Bring It On Home, Now

* If you have not read my previous two posts today, this is not going to make much sense to you. Take a minute and read Sunday Musings I and II.

** Can't guarantee it'll make sense even if you have read them.

(Ok, probably a poor choice of words to say "if Teacher Man and Ugly Betty had a child." Wipe that from your imagination.)

I see bits of myself in both Ugly Betty and Teacher Man.
Like Betty Suarez, I am beyond a square peg in a round hole. As I've gone through life, I've understood that I really don't "fit" in any kind of traditional grouping of human kind. But unlike Betty, that is something I have fought rather than embraced. Oh, the years of pining for acceptance in one group or another! I wonder though- does anyone really feel like they belong? A by-product of the Fall, in my opinion.

You, fair reader, hereby have my permission to wear out-dated clothing, say stupid things, think our own thoughts, and live your life honestly and with integrity. Better yet, you have Jesus' permission. His assessment counts a heck of a lot more than mine does. He happens to find all the Ugly Betty's of the world beautiful and worth the cost of His life.

I am also like the Teacher Man.
Frank McCourt floundered his way through life. Most days, not knowing which way was up, he presented himself to life and said, "Let's do it! Although, honestly, I have no idea what "it" is."
The Teacher Man wanted to be liked. To be accepted in literary circles, in the teacher's lounge, in the classroom, in his marriage, in Ireland, in America... anywhere, for goodness sakes! He just never quite made the cut.
If you have read any of my postings here, somewhere underneath it all is that same desire. Accept me. Think I'm great. Tell me I'm doing a good job. Please?
It permeates.

:They hit me where I live:

Betty is true to her herself. In the process, she impacts one person (her boss), who's M.O. up until now has been get-what-you-can-while-you-can-by-whatever-means-necessary. Betty, by just being Betty, inspires another human being to begin to operate on an entirely different paradigm.
How beautiful it is that Christ calls us the salt and light of the world. That He gives us the priviledge of being His ambassadors. That he calls us to a paradigm shift. And that we can also call others to that new paradigm.
Do I care too much what others are thinking? Is my desire to be accepted by someone, anyone, overshadowing the salt and light within me? Am I so concerned with what others are thinking that I'm back on the same paradigm with the rest of humanity?

Teacher Man was teachable. Keenly aware of his inadequacy, he was open to gleaning insight from others- even his own students. He approached his position of "teacher" with liberal amounts of "student." Though he sometimes erred on the side of self-flaggelation, I think he hit upon a key point- humility. Whatever your position.
Humility equals teachability.
How teachable am I? (I already know that answer. Not. Very.) Christ was humble unto death, even death on a cross. He considered himself less than a servant. He sat under his parents and rabbi's teaching, when He was the one who wrote the Book. Crickey, He is the Book! (Mind boggling, I tell ya.)

Where am I going with all of this? I guess I just want to be more teachable, more salty and lumionous, more of the gal that challenges your paradigm, more humble. More like Ugly Betty and the Teacher Man. More like Jesus.

You may now leave your comments telling me how beautiful, modest, insightful and stunningly brilliant I am. Because that is, after all, why I write these things.

2 Comments:

Blogger Heather said...

Amen.

11:18 AM  
Anonymous Chris said...

Erin, you are beautiful , modest, insightful, and stunningly brilliant...

Oh, woops, I did it again. Sometimes I find myself telling others what they want to hear instead of what I really think. (although, when I start to talk about what I really think, watch out!)

Of course, I do think you are a wonderful person whose "not fitting in" has made me feel more comfortable with my own not fitting in. And, you definately challenge my paradigms. Today, with this post, you remind me once again to be humble. Just wish I had read it a week ago. Thanks!

12:32 PM  

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